Heather Schneider's Page

Mom had been seriously ill for the past couple of years; this forced me to really think about who she was and what her own life mission was.
Mom had been and will always be Mom. It’s hard to think of her outside her roles as a mother, wife, and employee at Swedes. Thank God I at least had what time I did with her to really see Mom for what she was.
Mom loved critters; that’s why I always had an impression that it was a zoo around there without having teenagers. Fish, cats, and dogs kept Mom company while Steve was on the road. I know if she had the room she would have adopted more. She would get upset if she saw an animal suffering. Mom did what she could for any living thing.
Mom also liked leaving the impression that she was a curmudgeon, but everyone who knew her was aware of the fact that Mom was just the opposite. She didn’t have a bubbly personality, but she was generous and kind. I think others will say that she was a tough nut to crack. I remember her coworkers saying that she was kind of a “guard dog” at the hospital where she worked – some people didn’t want to mess with Becky. I can remember her telling me with a little smile that some of the “fresh” nurses were afraid of her. I know she tried to “fix” things as much as she could for those that she cared for. She had a calling to help others in any little way that she could. I just wish that she would have called in a few favors when she needed help.
When Grandma Elsie died in 1998, Mom was heartbroken and had a drive to honor her memory by trying to be like her. Mom started doing Christmas breakfasts at her house with egg strata, Swedish pancakes, strawberries- the whole nine yards. It was crowded, but it was fun. Mom would sometimes make mention that she wanted to be like Grandma Elsie over the next nine years. She did achieve that in her own way.
Mom had her own special ways of identifying her self with each of us kids. She didn’t treat us all the same because she knew we were all different, yet she loved us all the same. That was a thing with Mom that she passed onto me, and I think all of her children: everything had to be the same and equal with everyone all the time. It was like this from the time I was born to now. I give her credit for making me anal about my bed sheets on both side of the bed being absolutely even when I make it. This little quirk adds about ten minutes to the normal bed making time. And it drives my husband nuts.
Mom had great “mom-isms”. She was great at making up words and numbers – when we were growing up the only number I remember her using was “fifty-eleven” to express her exasperation with reminding kids, picking up things, what ever. Mom also referred to her three dogs as “wogs”. I have no idea where it came from, but I do hear Beth using it quite a bit. Calvin, Mom’s cat for 17-18 years who is with us to this day, has several names that Mom gave to him. They represented one another when Mom was in the hospital this last time around– I found that to be rather humorous. Mom also had a great set of lungs – you could hear her holler from a mile away. It was very distinct, and Sara, Beth and I all have fun imitating that infamous “Mom Yell”. Mom had a great imagination and she passed that onto all of her children. Sometimes I think I got too much imagination for my own good, but I know my sisters and brother all have that gift as well.
Anyone who knew my mom knew that Mom was proud. Her list has good points and bad points. Mom was proud of her children and all their crazy quirks and adventures. Mom was very proud of her Swedish heritage, and I think she would have got more involved with the Swedish Historical Society if she thought she could. She reveled in the completed renovation of her home: she recently redecorated two rooms in the house. Since Mom and Steve bought the house in the 1990’s they resided it, installed new windows, added rooms to the basement, and remodeled the kitchen and the bathroom. Mom was also too proud to ask for help in times when she needed it. She didn’t want to be a burden to anyone else. She didn’t give many people the chance to repay her for her kindness. She knew how to give, but she didn’t quite know how to receive.
Over the past couple of days, I finally found words to say about Mom: she loved us with great ferocity. Her passion for everyone to be okay gave her purpose. I think that Mom having so much emotion but not sharing with anyone wore her out. She was impenetrable, an anchor- but she was also human. That is why God graced her by giving her rest- He saved her from herself. He blessed us by placing her with us on Earth for this short while, so we could have this great teacher of love.
Mom was a teacher, she taught me:
That holding grudges doesn’t fix things
That reaching out to others to help them or yourself is important
That we most certainly need God in our lives
That it’s okay to be yourself
That pride can be good and it can be bad
That actions speak louder than words
Independence
Self-reliance
Perseverance
Equality
Kindness
Consideration
To be tough when life gets rough
That we don’t always have to speak to show others how much we care & love
Passion