I have been gone a long time...

[Cyndi Reinhardt]

I have been gone from this site for a long time. I guess mostly because I saw all the names of children lost and read their stories and it was just too much for me to deal with. Chris has been gone 19 months and I am missing him so much!! I have been through the valley of destruction and despair since last May and I have had to rebuld my life with my husband and sons. We are all the stronger for it, but man was it a hard road for us.

It is so hard to think about the fact that I will never see him again in this life. I have to concentrate sometimes to remember what his voice sounded like, although his identical twin is a pretty close match. Everywhere I go, I see places we had been together as a family or just the 2 of us. Or I see a kid with a mohawk at the mall. Or I hear a song on the radio that I know he liked or that he dedicated to me and my husband for helping him during a hard t ime in his life, before he ever had cancer. The list goes on forever...

Anyway, It was time to get on here and let people know I am still here, still struggling at times but still trying to carry on in a way that my son would be proud...