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Tonya left a comment for jennifer Margaret Jul 19

MissingMyAmazingSonBrad left a comment for Tonya Jul 9

Tonya left a comment for MissingMyAmazingSonBrad Jul 9

Tonya replied to the discussion Funerals Jul 9

Jacob McLeod-Steinmetz and Tonya are now friends

Jul 9

About Me:: I am a 38 yr old mother of 5. I have been married for almost 21 yrs.

Tell a little about the person lost...: I lost my 16 yr old son Matthew. My kids are the love of my life. Losing Matt almost killed me. Matthew was called to Heaven on June 7, 2007. He was trying to drain the hottub and was electrocuted.

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At 6:33pm on July 8th, 2008, MissingMyAmazingSonBrad said…: Hi Tonya- Thanks for writing - a year- my heart is breaking for you- It will be 9months for Brad on the 19th. Sometimes I know it & yet I still don't really beleive it - I still have those breif moments when I feel it is all a nightmare- it just has to be. I am amazed at your strength having a celebration of his life - your inspiring. I can completely relate to your shut down It truly makes sence to me- I do that all the time. Sending you love.

At 4:40pm on May 8th, 2008, MissingMyAmazingSonBrad said…: Wait till you hear this- I am a hair stylist as well. I haven't been working either- A couple months after the accident I did a few cuts- Then I ended up breaking my wrist. So only this week I started doing a few more cuts again. I only did my daughters hair for prom, That was enough for me. I don't know how you did the others- bless you. She wore a necklace with Brad's picture in it. And his friends wore their Memory wrist bands. I love what you did with the friend wearing pictures & I love what they did with the video. Karen

At 6:38pm on May 7th, 2008, MissingMyAmazingSonBrad said…: Hi Tonya - Thinking of You & Matt. Brad's 1st Prom was Sat. It was a rough day for me as well. A Friend of my sons asked our 15 yr old daughter to go with him as friends. We decided to let her go, feeling she deserved something special for her. However- That was so difficult to see them go ... Brad should have been going too. I got his tux out- one I bought & he never go to wear-- & hung it in his room. Life is so hard.

At 6:49pm on April 19th, 2008, MissingMyAmazingSonBrad said…: Thinking of you. Wish we could wake up from this nightmare! Take Care.

At 2:36pm on April 3rd, 2008, Gail Richardson said…: Hey Tonya - I guess we cope because we have to. Guilt is one of the stages of grieving I'm afraid, we have all had the same thoughts as you my love. The 'what if's' and 'if only's' can drive you insane at times. It was not your fault and there was nothing more that you could have done to protect Matthew. However your feelings are perfectly 'normal' in a bereaved parent. This is another leg of the grief journey and you will overcome it in your own time. However, this can also be a time of great depression, so if you can, now is a really good time to speak to a trained grief counsellor who will help you work through these feelings. I do know the feeling that there is nothing left to live for but look around you, at your family and your friends and remember that they are here and needing you more than ever. Take every day as it comes. Don't try to get back to how things were because things will never be the same again. A huge part of you is missing. The love a Mother has for her child is so intense and overwhelming and suddenly you are left with an excess of emotion and no where to spend it.
You are still in the earliest stages of grief. Please try to be gentle with yourself because you and Matthew both know how much you loved, cared and protected him.
You take care and don't be afraid to yell if you need a shoulder!! x

At 2:04pm on April 3rd, 2008, Rodney Reinhardt said…: Tonya,
We go on with our lives, and it feels like we are in a bad movie. One that we want out of, but we know we are stuck in. I don't know how the people that have been walking this path for years do it. My grandmother lost 3 sons. One was 3 one was 7 and one was 37. She said it didn't get easier. I look around and I wonder how the rest of the world can continue when we are just trying to make it through the day. Some days if I make it to work and I don't blow up at anyone I think I'm going well. I wish you well.